Somehow, he does…(7)

I was walking from left to right in the room, keeping talking and talking, so excited and proud of myself that I’m doing this, talking and spitting out everything what was on my mind.
He was just standing there, naked in my bed, looking so ‘nothing to say back’, he was silence and didn’t reply to anything.
– I just will not keep doing this to myself. I refuse to love you, I refuse the love I feel for you. I am tired; all this years. Can you imagine, five years? Look at me!!! We are fucking five years!
I just stoped with my hands in my hair and kept the silence.
I put my robe on, and just lay in bed, not facing him. I did hear his breathing and he rest his back on the pillow.
– You are a fucked up woman, you know? I just can’t believe it! Seriously, five years?
– pfff. I burst.
-oh, sorry can I speak? Can I speak now? We did agree yesterday that we gonna talk today, so, can I speak?
I kept my silence. I just let him breathe out everything I said.
– I just want you! I am feeling good with you, why we need to be so complicated? I’m good with you, I am feeling good. Very good, is not that enough?
I didn’t believe it! I said that I loved him, and he is saying, that he is feeling good!
I got up, more angrily! I wanted to kill him!
– how dare you? I am putting my soul out and you are just feeling good?
-oh, stop it, you know I am not good with speeches!
– speech? Your love should be a speech? Oh, sorry, I meant to say ‘ your good feelings’.

He hold on my look and smiled.
– you know!
– What? What I know? Cause I am so stupid, I see, that I just don’t get it!
He needed to get out! I needed it! I just wasn’t able to look at him anymore.
– put your clothes on and get out!
– please, stop! Let talk!!
-no, you better get out now!!!
He got up calmly, put his boxers, jeans, and the sweater.
He was ready.
I put my hand on the door handle, and I felt his hand on my elbow. Spinning, I was ready to hit him, but I stopped.
I touched his face and my palm was set on fire.
-Goddamn it! He grabbed me by the arms and kissed me.
I felt his wet lips, and the moment he lifted me up, I did get it.
When it came to him, I was more than willing with lust and pleasure to be devoured.