This morning 5 am – no sleep. Sadness, an empty stomach and some kicking little feet inside me. I look over my right side. “He is not home yet…”
You don’t wanna know what I was thinking and how hard I was crying.
I am strong but being in love or maybe being pregnant make my eyes be an infinite river. And is not just a few tears but an ocean that are leaving my face and eyes upset and puffy.
I am trusting my life in him.He is my family and he is not like the others – not at all. But he is a man, he is human and we all do mistakes. I do them – everyday.
I didn’t have any happy ends in my life, even for a short period. I am so afraid that one day I may wake up – and everything could be gone. My insecurities are high – even more now that we need to over come the last situation.
I need this ‘happy’ – him and baby L. I need them, so I can start believing that I am worth to be happy for once, that I am lucky enough for meeting him and have him. Nobody likes to share – I hate it. Whatever I moan about it – he tries to reassure me that he’s got me. And I need that like a daily mantra – for healing.
Trust life one more time?! Trust! I panic a lot, I lose my breath and I wish I can over come everything that I am afraid of.
I love you baby, you are the best thing that ever happened to me and the best of us is yet to come – our baby girl.