When I said that I love this man – I meant I love him more than myself. I was thinking he is happy but he proved me wrong.
I used to think till this morning that this is it. This is what I wanted and waited all my life, this is why it didn’t work with the rest of the men – he is my life now. I don’t know anymore if we are a family. I think I might need to be used to the fact that some people are not loved so easily, some of them are just waiting for the other perfect one for them. Not me.
What about me? what about me? I don’t know anymore. Why me – this is all I hear in my head.
I was thinking i make him happy. I am so disappointed in myself and not in him. Cause it’s my choice to be with him, I just didn’t saw it coming.
Either way, would i open his phone to check if I trusted him? My insecurity issues are now all over the place. Now i need time to rebuild myself, one more fucking time again. Fuck.